noobie, boobie and tank pt1

boobie awoke as the world around her shook, her collection of plates with the faces of famous bingo players fell from the shelf shattering on the floor one by one, she couldnt remember the last time the earth had moved in such a way even though she really really wished she could. with a mighty crack boobies small home was ripped from its foundations and sent soring into the funnel of a giant twister. round and round she span, she hadnt felt this dizzy since taking that LSD back at woodstock. ahhh the 60's. she missed the time of free love.

the house came down to earth with a bump. boobies cushions absorbing most of the impact, within seconds the sky had cleared and the sun shone brightly. boobie took a cautious step outside and was shocked by what she saw. sticking out from under the house was a pair of feet. before she could absorb this information a bunch of little people jumped out from various hiding places and bagan singing a song about someone being dead. boobie felt this was very disrispectful, and besides these strange little people were giving her the creeps. among all the singing she made out something about about a lollypop guild and something about a yellow brick road. seeing the road under her feet boobie began to walk away from the celebration following the yellow bricks into the distance. one of the little ceepy people shouted to her that she needed to find the wizard of cod to get her a new home. boobie nooded politely, resisting the urge to punch the little people face she left them behind.

after a short while she came across tank standing arkwardly in a field.
'what are you doing here tank?' she asked.
'dunno?' said tank sounding confused.
'well im off to see the wizard of cod, im going to ask for a new home. would you like to ask for a brain tank?' asked boobie.
'why not,' said tank, 'there are some crows over there looking at my juicy eyeballs and licking their beaks.'

with her new companion boobie carried on her journey following the yellow bricks under foot. it wasnt long before she saw someone standing rather stiffly in a small clearing. as boobie aproached she noticed it was noobie. she waved at him but he just stared blankly back at her. stepping closer she noticed noobies eyes moving, looking down at a bottle of cod liver oil tablets. taking the hint she opened the lid and tiped several into her friends mouth. after a while noobie began to move, his joints making the sound of rusty metal scraping across a hard surface. when he smiled it sounded like a rusty nail on a chalkboard.
'ahhhh,' he said beaming. 'cod liver oil keeps the bones young.'
'we are off to see the wizard of cod.' said tank excitedly jumping up and down. 'do you want to come.'
'why would i want to 'fecking A' come you tard?' snapped noobie.
'well you could ask him for a heart.' said boobie.

noobie agreed and the three of them set off together. they linked arms and skipped for a while but noobie started sqeaking again so they decided a slower pace was in order. much much later the arrived at a dark part of the forest. it was scary and the 3 friends huddled together.
'do you think there are any monsters in here?' asked tank.
'there is no such thing as monster ball bag face.' said noobie.
'but there might be lions, badgers and bears.' said noobie.
all three friends looked nervous and picked up the pace, each muttering in tune 'lions, badgers and bears. oh my! lions badgers and bears oh my!'

suddenly a roar followed by a strained cough filled the air and our stumbled a fierce looking badger.
'put em up,' he dared rotating his fists in an old looking boxers stance, 'ill take you all on at once, ill take you with one paw tied behind my back.'
noobie and tank hid behind boobie as the badger aproached letting out something crossed between a roar and a meow. as he appraoched his eyes were drawn to boobies cushions, he stopped mid stride, tipped his head slightly to one side and his tounge fell out the side of his mouth.
'im up here,' said boobie firmly
the badger looked up just in time to see boobies fist making contact with his nose. he scrambled on the floor and tried to rise when a large foot stopped down on him, it made a rusty noise as it moved.
'go ahead fur ball, make my fecking a day.'

Ooo noobie turns tough guys, I can see fur flying here.

Surely punching badgers is illegal!!!! Anyway a punch on the nose just for looking? I'll be keeping my hands in my pockets then!

Wow, I don't know what to say. I'm surprised the little people weren't blue

dont know what to say as in a good or bad thing?

Good thing! I was wiping the tears from my eyes when I read it. I could just picture the look on Brocks face