noobie boobie & tank pt3

the four friends eyes sparkled in amazement at the wonderful sight before them. they were all quite partial to a biscuit and couldnt wait to get stuck in the the many treats that surrounded them. they were about to race into the main buscuit area when wonky willy stopped them short.
'im afraid we have to have a health and safety chat first.' he said ushering them into a small room with a white board, desks and a large pointer.
'health and safety?' asked boobie. 'what could possibly happen in a buscuit factory?'
'we used to think the same thing,' said wonky willy. 'but we have had several recent incidents that make it essential.'
'what do you mean by incidents?' asked badger sounding nervous.
'oh nothing to worry about,' wonky willy assured them. 'just some chubby kid drowning in the chocolate for the digestives and getting sucked up the pipe. do you know i had to shut digestive production down because of that. the little porker is still in there.'
'well i suppose it could have been his own fault.' said tank.
'yes' agreed wonky willy. 'just like the girl who ate an experimental fruit and nut, then changed into a giant rasin.'
'is that all?' ask noobie.
'well after that we had the little girl who fell into the trash chute and was incinerated.' when wonky willy saw the shocked faces he hastily added. 'she got better.'
'anyone else?' asked boobie.
wonky willy seemed to drift off for a while, searching his memory. 'oh yes, i almost forgot the little boy who tried to get inside a tv showing some biscuit. i had no idea what a live wire could do to a little boy.... so sad.... smelled like bacon.'
the four friends shared a nervous glance but were inturrpet by wonky willy.
'im sure your right,' he shouted. 'what could go wrong, if you will just sign this waver we can begin the tour.'
reluctantly they signed it, they had missed breakfast after all and it was a chance for some free biscuits.

the factory was like a dream. and not one of those rude dreams you have about someone and cant look them in the eye the next day, it was one of those dreams that if it was in the waking world it would be made of a fluffy pink substance and smell like baking bread. the four friends drifted from biscuit pile to biscuit pile eating there fill of tasty treats. just as she was gobbling down a hob nob boobie saw some strange little people working across the chocolate river. they had a long pole and were trying to dislodge the dead fat kid from the pipe. but stangest of all, they were all blue.
'what are those?' asked boobie pointing at the little men and spraying crumbs down her cushions.
'those are the smurfs. they work for me. for minimum wage.' he replied. mumbling the last part to himself.
'why are they singing?' tank wanted to know.
'oh god, not the singing again,' cried wonky willy. 'we have had a disagreement with the smurfs union over holiday pay over the christmas period. they keep coming up with these bloody protest songs.'
they all listened as the smurfs sang:

smurfy, smurfy, smurfety smurf.
i have a smurfing message for you.
if you dont pay us double time.
we will, we will we will, strikety strike.

'i didnt ryme.' said noobie.
'i agree, it does need some work.' said boobie.
'get back to work or i will throw you to the sarlac.' shouted wonky willy.
'whats the sarlac/' asked badger.
it a large tenticle monster that lives down a pit.' explained wonky willy. 'since the little girl in the trash incident we were forced to find alternative means of rubbish disposal.'
'how does it work?' asked tank.
'simple, just thrown anything you dont want down there. it eats anything. rubbish, mouldy biscuits. even LAZY SMURFS,' wonky willy shouted the last part at a pair of stubborn smurf who had yet to get back to work.

they continued the tour unaware of the lone figure watching them, his armour battered and scratched from multiple battles. before he could strike he had to seperate them from there guide, and he knew just how to do it.

the final stop on the tour was the sarlac pit. a thin stone bridge crossed the large expanse that was the giant open mouth of the monster. at the far end some smurf were tipping a barrel of old biscuits into the pit. they didnt even touch the sides as the disapeared into the inky blackness. boobie was sure she noticed a pair of feet sticking out from a rolled up carpet that the smurfs were getting ready to throw in. noobie had noticed it too.
'is it me or does that look like a chocolate covered dead fat kid in that carpet?' he said.
wonky willy saw noobie and boobie looking at the carpet, he rushed over to the smurfs, clipped one round the back of the head and sent them away.
'im sorry folks,' he called back. a slight delay. 'please enjoy the view ill be back in a jiffy.'
with that he disapeared into a small door leaving the four friends alone. tank had got bored by this point and had taken to clearing his nose and spitting the contents down the pit. he was always charming like that.
after what felt like a lifetime noobies patience ran out.
'im goning to look for him.' he declared.
'im coming with you.' said boobie.
'me too,' said badger.
'me three.' said tank.

as they entered the room a sweet smell filled their nostrils. the room was dim but they felt there way until coming to a large open space. there in the middle were 3 smurfs. they had suffered blows to the head and were out cold. but that wasnt what caught there eye. standing there, his face a mask of pain was wonky willy.
'oh my god he has been frozen in carbonite.' cried badger.
'no its worse,' said noobie taking a closer look. 'he has been frozen in caramel.'
'whatever it is i think we should get out of here right now.' shouted badger.
the four of them fled the room and raced across the tiny bridge, with all the health and safety problems you would have thought a hand rail would have been installed but it seems the health and saftey enforcers didnt get this far. they must not like getting there shoes dirty. in case they slip. (health and safety rule 1.01)

before they made it to the other side a loud thud drew there attention back the way they had come. fully amoured and stalking towards them was dazzafett. they couldnt see his face behind his mask but his intentions were clear.
'run!' shouted boobie.
they ran, and ran. the bridge seemed a lot shorter on the way here but then they didnt have someone chasing them last time. one by one they cleared the bridge until only badger remained. strangely he felt little fear. his mind was clear and he knew what must be done. stopping still he span and faced the bountyhunter.
'you shall not pass.' he shouted. from inside his jacket he produced the fold away walking stick he always kept with him. just in case his hip gave out on him. raising it above his head he again shouted 'you shall not pass.'
dazzafett stopped the chase and looked at the old man infront of him. pulling out a whip he lashed at badger with all his might.
badger took the blow then raising the stick high above him he raged 'YOU SHALL NOT PASS!' before slamming the stick down on the bridge. at first nothing happend, the as dazzafett took another step the stone gaveway. the bounty hunter lost his footing and fell into the pit. as he went he flicked his whip one last time lashing it around badgers foot and dragging him down. as he hung by his finger tips he looked at his friends. they were safe. he knew he had done his duty as a friend. looking at them he spoke. 'dont just stand there, come and help me.'

then he fell!

I'm feeling we might see Badger the White appearing sometime in the future.

or he could become more powerful than you could ever emagine.

im reading this to the kids,a good bedtime story.